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Getting Kids To  Cooperate

Keeping your parenting cool, ending the power struggles, and staying calmly and lovingly in charge

Expert: Susan Stiffelman

Positive Parenting Conference by: A Fine Parent


(Holding one hand high and one low). Down "here” you’re the dictator. The dictator rules by fear and intimidation. You feel out of control, panicked, worried, disrespected, unappreciated. In order to override that we throw threats and punishments and dictatorship. And that’s not genuine authority. We can learn to be the captain of the ship, and that’s not coming from the place of wanting control over our children. We are in charge of ourselves. 


Your goal is not to project your own shame story onto your children. Empower your child to deal with their own shame story (because whether you like it or not, they will also have their own shame stories). Give them the space to say “I didn’t make a good decision, this is what I am going to do about it.”


Attachment Develops as follows:

Infant - Through their Senses

2 year old - Through imitation

3 year old - Through feelings of Belonging and loyalty

4 year old - Through Significance - being seen by you.

Love - Warmth in your voice 

Being known - when a child  wants to confide in you. They will only do this if the first 5 stages are developed.


Looking at the quality of that attachment, if there is a very defiant child who is resisting the parent, they are resisting coercion. If you feed the attachment, you will see a shift. Because we want to attach to those people who see us, get us, understand us, appreciate us, hear us, love us.. there is a natural instinct to do this.


Susan Stiffelman




Learn More...

This is your opportunity to really dive in and transform your power struggles at home. The content learnt in this short masterclass will be so beneficial, not only for your relationship with your child, but for any relationship as the skills learnt can be applied to any connection!

Are you ready to transform your relationships to a cooperative, loving bond based on connection and mutual respect? This masterlcass is designed as a quick self-study course. Order the course here:

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