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School Success

Ways to embrace Autonomy Supportive Parenting and successful parent- teacher partnerships to ensure success at school

Expert: Jessica Lahey

Positive Parenting Conference by: A Fine Parent


The gift of failure: The role of how we coach and teach our kids influences their motivation to learn as well as their ability to learn as well.


Kids who are more directed (controlled) by their parents have less ability to do frustrating tasks and therefore become more frustrated when they are tasked with frustrating things.


When children think of intelligence as something they either have or don’t have, they give up easily, do not take on challenges, tend to have more "problems", lie more about their grades, and cheat more.

Avoid this by telling your child that they are hardworking, (qualities they possess) opposed to telling them that they are clever / smart.


As a parent it's important not to focus on the wrong thing


How you talk to your child is so important. You may think you are praising and encouraging your child, yet you are moving them more into a fixed mindset opposed to a growth mindset:

Give them realistic praise, otherwise they will loose trust in your judgement if you tell them they are good at everything they do. Once you’ve lost a child's trust, you loose your influence on them, and they start looking outwards, which can be a dangerous path at the wrong time.



We tend to want to punish our kids for low grades or not doing well at school, by taking away their devices or similar punishments, but the reality is that the child cannot connect the punishment with their actions because their frontal lobes have not fully developed yet. A better way of handling low grades is to arrange a parent / teacher / child conference to come up with strategies for the teacher and parent to work together WITH the child, so that the child’s best interests are at heart. This would be a natural consequence for low grades opposed to an ineffective punishment.


Timed math homework is one of the most damaging things we do for kids.

Worksheets are useless.


One of the best ways a child learns is to teach it to someone else, let them explain new work or information to you.


What are some things that parents can do to connect with their child’s teacher?

  1. Get in touch with your child's teacher and let them know that you are looking forward to working with them, what you believe in, and what you would like to achieve from your relationship with the school.

  2. Be at school on time

  3. Offer to help with big events

  4. Send the teacher a thank you note and let them know they are appreciated

  5. Speak only highly of your teacher especially in front of your kids.

  6. If your child does come home and mentions something negative that the teacher has done, approach it from the perspective of “Can you tell me what happened?” opposed to getting revved up and lashing out at the teacher before knowing what actually happened.



Good teachers find ways to make the relationship work.

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